risscosh

thingsidontunderstandand:

• A friend claims that I pronounce “Fresh Direct” incorrectly.
• Consistently.
• She says it out loud for me. Her way and mine.
• They sound the same. I start to argue, but, really, begin to worry: is it possible that I pronounce things like “Fresh Direct” incorrectly?
• I ask her for other examples. If I do this often. Do I have cause for concern.
• “Hotel,” she says. Definitively.
• “Tattoo.”
• “Apostrophe.”
• “Kashi Good Friends cereal.”
• I start to ask if it is a matter of accent or affect, if there is a word for the accidental or irregular emphasis on improper syllables, but it seems like this might already be my answer. My vaingloriously asinine answer.